the four right chords can make me cry

he has autophosphorylated and dimerised! muahahahaha... congrats ivan!

posted by beckyboo @ 10:40 PM 4 comments

its been so long since i've had trouble falling asleep. just can't switch off my mind. it started off innocently enough, but my thoughts just kept going on and on after that, i never felt so awake. so much to say! so many things i suddenly have insight on! unfortunately i'm going to forget them by tomorrow, i know.
part of me wanted to suppress them so that i could sleep, i have church in the morning. but part of me was taken aback by the honesty i suddenly had, the clarity. the lies you tell yourself are all too subtle.
so i gave up trying to sleep. the cresent moon is still hung in the sky. i am waiting for the stillness of the new day to break over me like an egg in a frying pan. i love the drama of every new dawn.

posted by beckyboo @ 4:00 AM 0 comments

I drop them insouciantly to the ground
Taking them off my mind piece by piece
Where they lie, a heap of day-weary clothes
Destined for the wash
The ten minutes of solitude is cold
at first, but refreshing
I become a duckling
As I am embraced
by a large fluffy yellow bath towel
Life smells good
And so do I

posted by beckyboo @ 10:51 PM 0 comments

swedish humour.
- you don't have to do the challenge problems. they are optional. passing the exams is also optional. (heh. i like that.)
- In fact PAM matrices of higher values can be calculated simply by multiplying PAM matrices with lower values. For the purposes of confusing us, the values attached to BLOSUM matrices mean the opposite.

thai pedagogical philosophy.
Don't go beyond these limitations even if you happen to know the names of articles in the room. The temptation to introduce or ask for new vocabulary in this section should always be resisted. Simply play the game as skillfully (that is, sounding as much like the teacher) as possible. Conformity, not originality, is the key to language learning. Above all, avoid trying to express reality of the situation through tone of voice.
becks: i hope that's only because this textbook was written in the 70's. pedantic!

when your best friend is far away in america, but her boyfriend is here in singapore, you often get into arguments with him about whose side she will take. for instance, he says buying her a car is the best friend's job but no lor! its SO the boyfriend's job. hurry up and come back and tell him he's ridiculous! and also tell him to stop insulting my dog!

gaaaah my head hurts.
discovering the upper limits of webcast tolerance.
more moffeelk (milo+coffee+milk) please!

posted by beckyboo @ 4:38 PM 1 comments

thanks dan, in advance, for the sushi lunch ahead! =) i love talking to you and i'm touched that there are people who take an interest in my life.

thanks chels, you've been great company! i enjoy reading week when it involves getting to spend time with friends and watch daria and go running =)

daddy called me on wednesday to tell me that my driving license arrived in the mail! wow, that's breath-takingly fast. after all the frustration, crying, and phobia-developing, i'm glad that i exhibited the tenacity/mulish obstinacy it took to take the test 5 times. i'm quite glad i stuck with it, even when well-meaning friends, seeing how miserable and poor it made me, advised me to stop learning for a while. hoot! standby your phones, once my parents let me use the car i'm going to be calling you out for supper! (also, please bring a street directory or better still GPS if you have).

i've been rather happy. reading week is the best time of the year for me, always is. and staying in school gives me just the right balance of friends and time alone. I love just sitting in my room and being quiet.

kk, gotta go meet uncle!

posted by beckyboo @ 12:33 PM 0 comments

beckybooboo.
it had to happen sooner or later.

posted by beckyboo @ 1:47 AM 0 comments

ok, this is all i've got for my biosem project so far. in my defense, i would like to say that at least i have finished most of my research and know what i want to say.

Mating season is an important period for any animal, and huge amounts of energy, time and resources are directed to achieve successful mating. Considering that there are heavy implications on reproductive success, it is not surprising that animals do not mate randomly but exercise some sort of discrimination. This is especially crucial in penguins where both the male and female contribute heavy parental investment to every batch of offspring. Nevertheless, apparent mistakes do occur from time to time. Penguins, especially those kept in captivity, have been reported to exhibit “homosexual” behavior; that is, members of the same sex are observed to form pair bonds and even attempt to copulate and brood eggs. Since most penguin species do not exhibit sexual dimorphism and can only be sexed by genetic analysis, this phenomenon may not have been detected in earlier research, and consequently, there are insufficient field studies investigating the matter. In this paper, I propose that penguins, in particular the species Pygoscelis Antarctica, identify members of the opposite sex largely by behavioral differences as opposed to physical characteristics.

posted by beckyboo @ 3:25 AM 0 comments

I passed my driving test!!!!
Thanks be to God!

i was singing these two songs to keep myself calm

Be still my soul, the Lord is on thy side
Bear patiently the cross of grief or pain
Leave to thy God to order and provide
In every change, He faithful will remain
Be still my soul, thy best, thy heavenly friend
Through thorny ways lead to a joyful end

Be still my soul, thy God doth undertake
To guide the future as He has the past
Thy hope thy confidence let nothing shake
All now mysterious shall be bright at last
Be still my soul, the waves and wind still know
His voice who ruled them while He dwelt below

Be still my soul, the hour is hastning on
When we shall be forever with the Lord
When disappointment, fear and grief are gone
Sorrow forgot, love's purest joys restored
Be still my soul, when change and tears are past
All safe and blessed, we shall meet at last

I cannot tell why He whom angels worship
Should set His love upon the sons of man
Or why should He as shepherd seek the wanderers
To bring them back, they know not how or when
But this I know that Christ was born of Mary
When Bethlehem's manger was His only home
And that He lived at Nazareth and laboured
And so the Saviour, Saviour of the World is come

I cannot tell how silently He suffered
As with His peace, He graced this place of tears
Or how His heart upon the cross was broken
The crown of pain to three and thirty years
But this I know, He heals the broken hearted
And stays our sin, and calms our lurking fear
And lifts the burden from the heavy laden
For yet the Saviour, Saviour of the World is here

I cannot tell how He will win the nations
How He will claim His earthly heritage
How satisfy the needs and aspirations
Of East and West, of sinner and of sage
But this I know, all flesh shall see His glory
And He shall reap the harvest He has sown
And some glad day His sun shall shine in splendour
When He the Saviour, Saviour of the World is known

I cannot tell how all the lands shall worship
When at His bidding, every storm is stilled
Or who can say how great the jubilation
When all the hearts of men with love are filled
But this I know, the skies will thrill with rapture
And myriad, myriad angel voices sing
And earth to heaven, and heaven to earth will answer:
At last the Saviour, Saviour of the World is King!

William Young Fullerton (1857-1932)

Gave me a sense of perspective. And racking my brain trying to recall all those lyrics took my mind off the test. I love hymns. They're so beautifully melodic, but best of all, each hymn can encapsulate an entire theology. So unlike most worship songs today, too touchy-feely. I think hymns are very stirring because they remind you of what you believe in, declaring the facts of salvation in song. as opposed to just focusing on your feelings and subjective experience of God. but there is a time and place for both.

Reminds me of the conversation we had at dinner. I think Justin put into words what I've been feeling about biosem and Christianity. Yup, it IS the whole crux of Christianity! God is not a thing, concepts cannot be applied to Him, He is what we call in class a "not". (don't misunderstand, but then again, i think only ppl in the class will know what i mean) But Christ became God embodied, enabling us to relate to God. wow. that was a profound moment there. Wish i could articulate it better =(

Thai oral went really badly. But I was too happy to care.

Finally went to Couduroy and Finch with mum and dad. I ate Handsome Strawberries. heh. will post pictures so you'll know what i mean, soon. Really really great food there, I must go again! but very expensive...

that was thursday. coming to friday now.

it was awful, at least after breakfast.

yesterday i told chels that i could smile at a million strangers. today, i couldn't even manage to smile at my reflection in the mirror. spent the whole day wholed up in the com lab working on the bioinformatics project. i thought it'd take 2 hours max, but i ended up staying there till the lab closed! SO frustrating. and after veron left, i was alone =( Nevertheless, managed to go for a free health screening sometime in between. well. lets just say it provides me with impetus to lose some weight. hahaha. no startling revelations lah, i'm acceptable weight, but i'm too pudgy around the waist (waist to hip ratio bad), BMI is a little close to overweight (22.2 vs 22.9!!) and percentage body fat is at the upper bound of acceptable. oh dear, how very embarrasing. so tell the whole world over the internet, yes, that sounds wise.

We had a writing centre end of sem gathering, Dr Lo bought SUBWAY! wow wow woo wee! but i felt kinda shy still =( they were busy discussing conferences, but i had nothing to add (nothing smart, insightful to say). gah, i hate feeling like that.

two more projects to clear, ie. start on. better get back to work. but just had to inform regular blog readers whom i didn't sms that yes, i did manage to pass at last, and i'm very happy =)

posted by beckyboo @ 2:55 AM 0 comments

Don't panic.

The answer is 42.

I hope the question is not "How many points will I get this time?" or worse, "How many times must I fail before I pass?"

posted by beckyboo @ 11:08 PM 0 comments

You are

erm.. ok... doesnt sound very pleasant.

i was glad that i decided to go meet him, despite the pressure of unwatched webcasts looming. glad to see you're feeling better jerry! i really miss my JC classmates, i talked so much today, quite out of character. sern yong is super funny lah, argh, but i cant remember what he said, i remember saying to myself that i needed to blog it down for posterity!

to all 11/02 readers of this blog, make yourselves free on the 16th of december. plans for the first ever 11/02 clubbing class gathering are in the works!!!

posted by beckyboo @ 11:58 PM 0 comments

operating on 1 hour of sleep for more than 24 hours of wakefulness has been pretty ok so far, except that my eyes feel a bit funny.

a foot-long is too long! always share your subs.

i really really really love my cg. must share with you sometime.

next week is really quite terrifying.
monday: Biosem final
tuesday: 2104 project deadline
wednesday: Science of Music final, Cell Bio test
thursday: DRIVING TEST NUMBER 5 (ARGHARGHARGH) Thai Oral exam at 6:40pm after last biosem class (sniff). partner is a stranger i haven't met in my life.
please pray for me. especially for driving. i hate driving. i really really really do.

wish i could go sleep. but still got work to do.

nevertheless, week has been rather good. got to spend time with chels and manda a bit, and berwine let me stay in her room. and she entertained my request for help in thai homework over the phone for half an hour. patience of a saint she had! (oh dear, i still have her transponder...) and got to have lunch with pema a few times too. friends make things easier to bear.

so do tim tams!

posted by beckyboo @ 12:37 AM 0 comments